I have been fortunate to be present in so many amazing births. And when I am there, present, supporting and documenting I keep thinking to myself why are not all births like these?
Why?
It is a birth given right for women to birth. It is a miracle, nothing less. It should be empowering, holy and sacred. But instead it became so far removed from holiness.
Instead it falls on a long standing tradition of women not being listened to. Because if we just stop for one minute, stop to listen to the outside voice, and tune in to our inner voice, we will find all the answers.
If you move and let gravity help you, instead of laying on your back for your doctor’s convenience, you will have a better birth. There is no question about it. All the evidence shows that the less interventions you have, the better your experience will be.
My advice to any new mother will only be: listen to your intuition. Not to the many pieces of advice you will get from everyone around you. Nobody knows you as well as you, nobody knows your baby as well as you. Starting to tune in to yourself and your baby when you are pregnant will carry long into motherhood. And life.
Not being listened to harms women, medically, all the time. From women with endometriosis, which takes years to diagnose, to women in birth. Even I, who is outspoken and loud, was not listened to when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I still suffer the consequences to this day (you can read more about this here). If they believed me I could have treated myself in a much earlier stage of it.
It is assumed that women need to endure pain because that’s the way it is.
Well I am here to tell you: NO! Women should not endure unnatural pain!
Pain that does not let you function for more than three days of the month, needs to be looked at. Pain in early pregnancy should be looked at! Know that induction can give you unnatural pain! But pain in birth can be relieved by your own body and chemicals that your brain sacrate. YES! When you let your body do its thing, when you move and tune in to what is right for you in the present moment, when you feel loved, safe, secure, then birth is amazing. Birth is empowering, birth will let you be the goddess you are and will let you feel and experience that sacred ceremony to motherhood.
Birth should not be feared. Birth should be something you look forward to. A sacred ceremony to bring you into motherhood (or parenthood), to bring you into yourself! Yes! remember that the way you give birth will have a massive effect on the way you parent, on your postpartum, on your mental health!
But if you have experienced your birth as traumatic know this: it was never your fault and you can be healed. I am here for that.
I wish all the women that read this will join me in refusing to not be listened to, refusing to accept unnecessary pain!
Embrace the goddess that you are.
