Births stories: How and Why I Missed the Birth of baby Indie

I am a birth photographer. Being on call and sleeping with my phone next to me comes with the job. I am also a highly sensitive person and I feel places and people’s energy very easily. I would probably call myself a witch if we lived 400 years ago. Giving, listening, advising and healing has always been a huge part of me, along with being creative. This story was the universe's gentle way of reminding me to not leave myself out. Let me tell you how.

I offer a free maternity shoot with my birth photography package. I think it is a lovely way to get to know the mother and to let her get to know me as a person who will be in her birth space.

I met Joy for our maternity shoot, about three weeks before she gave birth. I liked her straight away. Such an old soul in such a young woman. She has been through so much in life and happily it resulted in her being super confident and comfortable in her own skin.

She knew exactly how she wanted to birth her baby. This wasn’t her first birth. In fact it was her fourth baby and with the first two she had a c-section. Her third baby was born in a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) at home, naturally. But still she had her fears and trust-in-self issues. She wanted to birth this baby with no fear. To be present in the process. Empowered by birth.

Joy in the shower

We had a long chat and I offered her an EFT session during which we touched on her fears and what she felt was holding her back. I think it worked because she did go on to have an amazing birth, just like she wanted.

I think… because I wasn’t there…

How I missed the birth? I was so close to being there.

Usually during the days before the baby is coming, mothers will have contractions on and off. This could last for days. Especially if this is not their first birth. A way for the body to let you know it is getting ready. So I knew it was coming and I was fully on call and ready to go.

But on the night it happened, I never got the call.

That night I had a feeling the baby would come. I got ready for bed but before I fell asleep, I took out a notebook and wrote down a well wishing blessing for Joy. A good spell… I wished her an empowering and beautiful birth just like she wants.

But I forgot myself. I forgot to include myself as part of it. Forgot to wish myself to be part of it. But maybe I didn’t forget. Maybe I just wrote down what felt right to me. Maybe I just felt Joy and her need to be alone.

She birthed almost completely alone, only her lovely partner was there with her. The kids were asleep.

Indie arrived as the sun rose on the first day of spring. And she arrived quickly too so I wouldn’t have made it on time anyway.

They called the midwife only at the very end, in time to welcome the baby.

I had an uneasy sleep and woke up to a message that said that Indie has been born.

When the moment came and Joy knew she was having her baby she had the overwhelming feeling that she didn’t want anyone around her. She was with herself (and her partner) immersed in her body, knowing it was doing its job perfectly.

So maybe my part was not to be there with her. Maybe my part was to bring her there. To believe in her. After all, empowering women is part of my job and I do it with an open heart.